The “LOL” thread

Gotta love a guy with a Ruth Buzzi fetish ! Throw in some Joanne Worley and now were talking !!

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Have you ever fallen asleep so hard that you actually believe you are up and doing things to deal with a crisis, only to find out you were really asleep?

I never thought a highjacked WiFi thermostat causing the inside of the house to freeze was a thing.

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I hate it when the microwave gets hijacked, which means I have to eat a frozen burrito… but then find out I actually ate a nice, delicious steak dinner.

I hate it when that happens.

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Hmmm, my post , which was a joke in the LOL category was removed. An exercise in Facism ? Authoritarianism?

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Admin just moved it to the political thread. He did it to mine, as well. I’m ok with that, fwiw.

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Vee follow ze rules here, mein freund.

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Jim Gaffigan on the Manning Cast. He was a walkon OL at Purdue in the 80s.

“The coaches asked me if I knew what I was doing. ‘We’re in the Big-10, you’re going to get murdered’. So I quit. I was a quitter. All offensive linemen fantasize about quitting the first 3 weeks of camp”.

The Mannings are smart to get funny men on their show, like Gaffigan and Will Ferrell. Bill Belichick is an unmitigated disaster as a funny man.

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this ones for you LA Ute. I know you love Russians falling out of building news:

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It’s amazing how many unsecured windows that there are in the world.

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Makes me sick.

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I worked in retail 25 years ago (at Office Max) and worked several Black Fridays. Saw lots of chaos, but the tipping point was watching two middle aged dudes get in a literal fist fight over a spool of $10 CD-R discs while their kids and wives watched in horror.

Ever since that incident, I’ve sworn off even leaving my house on Black Friday. I’ll just stay home and watch a Lord of the Rings marathon today, thanks.

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I spent over a decade working Black Friday’s as a retail manager. Having to deal with people at their worst is draining beyond words. What I learned from the experience was there is nothing in this world worth putting yourself through that shopping experience. I never darken a door of a retailer today.

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I love how REI is closed on black Friday. They even shut down the website.

Do people still hit stores at 4:00am then shop all day long? That used to be a thing, are people still that crazy?

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KUTV trolling the conspiracy theorists about contrails. The replies are hilariously disturbing.

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The human race is doomed.

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So true…

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One Thanksgiving night we were visiting Salt Lake. The place where we were staying had a clogged drain. I went out in search of a drain snake. The only place open was Walmart. At that time I had never been inside one of their stores. It wasn’t Black Friday yet so I thought I would find a nearly empty store. Oops.

The hardware section was on the far corner. It was about 7:30 p.m. I had no idea what I was walking into. There were huge 10-foot high piles of products–everything from microwaves and TV monitors to kids’ games and diapers–all over the store. Every miniature mountain of goods was wrapped in plastic and surrounded by thick throngs of people, waiting for a store employee to slash the plastic so they could start grabbing what they wanted. I had to squeeze through the people to get to the hardware section–it really was shoulder to shoulder, and it took me about 10 minutes to cover 50 yards. I realized, to my great alarm, what was about to happen, and that I’d better get what I needed and get out of there before 8:00. I got through the cashier lane and was headed to the door just before 8:00. I heard the roar behind me, and when I turned around I saw bedlam everywhere! I felt lucky to have escaped just in time.

Moral: If you value your comfort and safety, Never go to Walmart on Thanksgiving night.

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Back in 1999, I worked nights at the Office Max on State Street by Fashion Place Mall. There was a Toys R Us right across the street.

About a week before The Phantom Menace came out, all the action figures for the film were released. I was (and still am) a huge Star Wars nerd, so I figured I’d head over after work and see what was available. They did a special 10:00pm “Release Party” and re-opened the store after hours. At the time, everyone thought the toys would end up as collectors items that would be worth significant $$ (remember, we weren’t nearly as saturated with Star Wars back then as we are today).

It was absolutely horrifying. The poor employees would wheel pallets to the aisles and would immediately be swarmed by people tearing apart boxes to see what figures were inside. People would literally rip the shrink wrap off the pallet and begin throwing figures around in their frenzy to get the particular one they were looking for (everyone wanted a Darth Maul). They quickly figured out that they could “ambush” the employees as they they came out of the back room, and started sprinting for them as soon as the pallet jack appeared without even waiting for the boxes to get to the aisle. The employees were simply dropping the pallet jack and running away.

There were multiple fistfights, shoving, cursing, some old lady spit on a dude…it was absolute chaos. Reminded me of the swarms of mindless aliens or zombies that you see in horror movies. I left after about 10 minutes because I wasn’t about to throw hands over some stupid action figures.

People are f*cking insane.

(Funny postscript: I walked in that same Toys R Us about a week later and grabbed the same Darth Maul action figure off the shelf that people were beating each other up for. I even still have it in the package around here somewhere.)

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I saw a video that said it was flying squirrels.
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