Funny joke thread

Customer (holding up a can of Raid): Is this good for wasps?

Shocked clerk: No it kills them!

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A def man and a mute woman fell in love. We call this redundant bliss.

Their courtship was filled with the usual amount of miscommunication but there was a lot more fingering.

He got a hearing aid and cheated on her one night with the voice at the drive thru speaker. Never before hearing a woman’s voice he had a very rousing conversation with the clerk, Steve.

She discovered his misdeeds but strangely never spoke of it.

It’s really weird when people get outraged on behalf of others.

I was walking my dog in a quiet place with grass and trees in peace. Until this one uptight lady(a visitor like I) starts lecturing me about where my dog urinated, some epic rant about how disrespectful it was. Nobody residing there seemed to mind, at least they never said as much.

What a ■■■■■! That’s the last time I walk my dog at the cemetery.

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