A few from Sam Harris and Christopher Hitchens that seem particularly apt given the current political climate:
If someone doesn’t value evidence, what evidence are you going to provide that proves they should value evidence. If someone doesn’t value logic, what logical argument would you invoke to prove they should value logic? - SH
The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks. - CH
A puppet is free as long as he loves his strings. - SH
Faith is the surrender of the mind, it’s the surrender of reason, it’s the surrender of the only thing that makes us different from other animals. - CH
“If the Utes make it to the final four, I will mortgage the house and turn tricks on the street corner. Just remember, it is like buying a new car, it costs more to go first.”
“Remember when we used to laugh at grandpa, going down to that old fishing hole? But nobody was laughing when he came back from town with some old whore.” - Jack Handey
“Things tend to balance out. You go to the doctor, and he says you have alcoholism, so you’re all bummed out. But when you get back home, you find a bottle of vodka you hid and forgot all about, so things are suddenly looking up again! It all balances outs.” - Jack Handey
“So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.”
“To me, clowns aren’t funny.
In fact, they’re kind of scary.
I’ve wondered where this started
and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus,
and a clown killed my dad.”