The anguish of being a fan

I like to think I have matured as a person and a fan over the years. I remember as a young kid shedding some a few tears when the Utes would lose a game, but any lingering emotions were usually gone by the time we climbed in the car and started home. I never shed a tear when I lost a baseball, basketball or football game throughout junior high and high school, although I had teammates who did from time-to-time.

Being a Utah football fan was tough in the 70’s when I attended the U. A couple 1-10 seasons can make you pretty much immune to any emotional response as there were never any expectations. The 80’s were much the same.

In the 90’s and moving forward when the Utes were competitive and actually pretty good, I can remember being angry and having a negative hangover from a particularly disappointing loss. Things changed on that front when I worked in the football program from 2005-2012. The weeks move so quickly that you don’t have tiime to dwell on the previous game, win or lose. There is a process and it moves forward. Being directly involved allows you to work constructively on the next opponent and quickly forget the last. It is something that we regular fans don’t have. We can think of the negative outcome until the next game.

The PAC12 changed me in many respects. I just wanted the Utes to be competitive. Yes, there were some disappointing losses over the years, but there were many more great wins and with a few exceptions, the Utes were always competitive.

Basketball has, for the most part, been the same for me. We had a neighbor who was a scorekeeper at the Einar Nielson Fieldhouse and I was privileged to watch Billy McGill, Jerry Chambers and Merv Jackson at practice many times over the years. I cried a few nights listening to losses on the radio with my grandma. I knew Judkins growing up and in college would regularly participate in summer open court with him and some of the other players. I didn’t have a strong emotional response to wins or losses in those days.

Majerus brought high expectations and although the highs were more frequent then the lows, the lows took an emotional toll. Giac, Boylen, Krysto, Smith have mostly been a consistent drain of energy and I will score watch until I know it is interesting and then I might turn on the TV. I live in San Diego most of the winter, so I don’t attend games many games except a few in December. So last night I checked the score and figured I didn’t need the aggravation.

The only pro team I follow closely is the Padres, so I am used to disappointment

I have a close friend who has one of the most unstable relationships with the Utes I’ve ever seen. He’s a prime example of one who “quits” on his teams, and we’ve sparred over this for years now. I’m a Ute through thick and thin, and while I’ve been disappointed, even devastated at times, my allegiance will always be with my Utes. I have some reservations about Coach Smith currently, but something tells me that’s likely to change. Good thoughts.


Non competitive teams are something us football fans got a big dose of in the 1970’s and 1980’s. Seeing MBB get this way is still a bit of a pill. It sucks, but with all the soul-selling for the one and done, the transfer portal, and NIL and where we are is where a lot of schools are. It sucks, but if they compete it’s ok.