Need help on trolling

I am in several Big 12 and BYU groups (along with Utah, of course) on Facebook. I don’t really care that much, but I like trolling the Zoobs as often as I can. I do employ “byu-provo” at all times, but I need some good stuff. The zoobs are so delusional in these groups. I swear they were high on some righteous weed.

“It’s nice to see the clocks and calendars are all still broken in Provo at 1984.”


The list is endless:

Number of NBA players

BYU grad Chad Daybell

I like to refer to them as a Bible Clogging College (they love that)

Marriott Center - “the house that porn built” (thats from the old Utefans days when there was a report pulished that the Marriott Corp. revenue had a subtantial $$$ stream that came from hotel porn)

1984 football schedule didnt feature a team that finished in the top 25

They used to hold the distinction of most NCAA basketball appearances without a Final Four


Their “claim to fame” was beating Pitt who was ranked #3 (IIRC) in the preseason. Pitt finished the season 3-7-1. Of course the zoobs claimed that Pitt could never recover from that season opening loss.


Number of NBA players: Fair comment, though speaking personally, I walked away from the NFL, NBA and MLB, decades ago, the last (NBA) when the refs gave the Bulls a major assist in beating the Jazz for the 1998 title. As a result, what BYU players do after they graduate is fine, as long as whatever they do is honorable.

BYU grad Chad Daybel: A truly black and ugly stain on any university, which is also a reminder that any alumni mugshot smack is thin ice territory. I would never go there when it comes to any school because every school has a few (or more) such skeletons

I like to refer to them as a Bible Clogging College (they love that): Like being called a “Zoob,” no big deal and actually something of a backhanded compliment and borderline term of endearment. I use Zoob with no compunction.

Marriott Center: Water off a duck’s back for me. It was built when I was in junior high and had no intention of becoming a Zoob, so it may be true but probably will produce little desired zinger value with most BYU fans.

1984 MNC: I have gone around the block numerous times with people on this topic, most often UW fans. In response to this particular criticism, I always gently (I hope) respond as follows. If any other school had taken care of business on the field, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. They didn’t so BYU got the title because there was no one else left with a justifiable claim to the MNC that year. I then ask what do you call the medical student who graduates last in his class? You call him “Doctor,” just like the one who graduated first. Ditto how the last graduating student at West Point is every bit as much an officer and a gentleman as the one who walked first.

Most NCAA basketball appearances without a Final Four: This is a tender and unpleasant topic, so have it. :slight_smile:

There were several other schools who would have “taken care of business” had they played byu-provo’s schedule. And that is the crux of the argument. Ask Arizona State about being undefeated in 1975 but not named national champ.


Dont forget the garbage throwing incident…


There was the punching of Whitt’s Wife by some idiot.

Lest we forget the tackling of our cheerleader that resulted in the offender getting his ■■■ kicked by same cheerleader.



That is my favourite BYU logo, by the way.


In ASU’s case, the Sun Devils had the unfortunate reality that #1 Oklahoma took care of business just enough to end up getting the MNC. The Sooner’s only loss that year was to a 7-5 Kansas team that lost to 2 top 10 teams by respectable margins. Had OU lost a second time, I have every reason to believe that the Sun Devils would have gotten the MNC and deservedly so. It’s a shame that they didn’t get a chance to play in the Orange Bowl and settle it on the field.

BYU benefited from a once-a-lifetime planetary alignment in college football. Five different teams held the #1 spot ahead of BYU, one of them twice (Nebraska). The Cornhuskers leapfrogged BYU to get the top spot a second time, before losing a second time to OU. The teams that held or could have held the #1 spot all had ugly and totally unexpected losses that combined to allow BYU to continue to inch its way up the polls, as they fell from grace. Nebraska lost to a 6-5 Syracuse team. Oklahoma lost to a 5-6 Kansas squad and tied Texas. South Carolina, which would have taken over the top spot instead of BYU, lost that week to a 3-8 Navy team, 38-21. In the end, there was no one left with a bigger name than BYU that arguably deserved the MNC. BYU was almost certainly not the best team that year. However and based on the rules of the polling game back then, it ended up being the most deserving, which was the ultimate criteria that settled things.

Washington perhaps had the best counter argument, having only lost to USC that year, which finished 9-3. Their problems were that that loss came late in the season and knocked them out of the top spot, with insufficient time to have any chance of recovering, even after beating Oklahoma in the Orange Bowl. Even worse was that they played the Sooners because USC was the Pac-10 champ that year. As Vince Devlin of the Spokane Spokesman-Review and an AP voter wrote, after voting for BYU (and with no connection to the school): “If you want to be #1 in the country, you need to be #1 in your conference first.”

You can’t plan for that sort of stuff to happen, week after week. Not in my wildest imagination did I expect it to happen until it did, the next to last week of the season. Lots of people have speculated that BYU’s MNC was a key catalyst for the bowl/playoff changes that unfolded over the past 40 years. It certainly shook up the status quo (and continues to live rent free on lots of Husky fans’ minds).

I personally think it pretty neato that they won in 1984. That season is a part of college football lore.

“took care of business just enough”
“had OU lost a second time”

Really? Lol You just made the argument that Washington should have been #1 in 1984


LOL, well played. Your a good sport. At some point we should do a thread about what smack talk gets under Ute fans skin.


As mentioned previously, UW’s problem was two-fold. First, it lost too late in the season to recover. Back then, Rule #1 was “don’t lose.” Rule #2 was, “if you lose, lose early and respectably.” Everybody else violated both of those rules, including UW, which left BYU atop the heap.

Second, how could a team which didn’t even win its own conference win the national championship? Today, it’s possible in football and is a periodic occurrence in March Madness. Not so, back then. The system wasn’t at all structured for that possibility. UW’s single loss was more costly than any other loss that any team incurred, except for South Carolina’s massive choke against Navy.

That game, much like 2011, was a train wreck of such classic proportions that both were morbidly compelling and humorous. It was a case of almost wanting to see how bad things could possibly be, the worse, the better, for the sake of chuckling at it all. Eddie Johnson celebrating with a BYU cheerleader was a classic moment and a nice send off for someone who I always respected for the class act that he was, other than the scoreboard pain as this debacle unfolded.

Sam Tsinga’s interception – almost a handoff – from Sean Covey was even better, again from a morbidly humorous standpoint. :slight_smile: Redemption would have to wait a year.

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Ah, thanks much. I try to represent my school well and long ago moved past getting riled up by smack or engaging it, much preferring conversations such as these. Dialogues are much better and more worthwhile than demagogues.

Perhaps it’s a sign of being in my dotage. However, I find it’s now easy to give credit where it’s due, such as Utah beating Alabama in the Sugar Bowl or coming so close to beating Kentucky in 1998 (should have happened and I wish it would have). I didn’t know I could cheer so loudly for Utah as I did those two nights. :slight_smile:

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The Rice Bowl game…to his credit, at least Sean Covey didn’t butt fumble one into the endzone.

That BYU team was interesting. The BYU faithful raved about how Sean Covey was the next great QB. Unfortunately the dude was slow and didn’t have much of a line; and you knew it wasn’t a good O line when our defense was teeing off on him.

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I was gonna say both, but I knew someone else would.


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Wouldn’t the “coldest chocolate milk” be ice cream?