For grammarians

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out – we don’t serve your type.”

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar – fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, slowly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

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Can’t believe I’m the first person to :star2: this.

Some of us were off being drunk and slamming food. :wink:

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I realize this thread is a bit old and starts with a plethora of jokes, but I thought this was a fun article in the WaPo about how the author and Donald Trump both prefer the Oxford comma, as do I.

For me, you either use the Oxford comma, or you are a heathen who cannot communicate.

<<<<<<<
But the trial testimony has offered one bombshell: Donald Trump likes the Oxford comma.

So testified his former personal assistant and ex-director of Oval Office operations, Madeleine Westerhout, who last week detailed the elaborate fine-tuning that goes into the former president’s social media pronouncements before they’re unveiled to the nation.

This includes his preference for the Oxford comma, the controversial punctuation also known as the serial comma, used before the “and” in a list of three or more items. I never thought I’d write these words, but, Donald, I’m with you.

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Oxford, always. Haha

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I have seen the Donald’s tweets, I don’t think I will be going to him anytime soon for punctuation or grammar advice!

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